Friday, December 21, 2007

The Top 5 Moments in Rap- 2007

So I came back home last night, but left my laptop at school and had to get it today. Just the way to start a break. Now that I have more time on my hands, I can actually write substantial posts. Whether they're worth reading is your decision. As promised, I will do my top 10 songs for the year, but first let's take a look at what happened in 2007...

5.Superb wrote Supreme Clientele/ "Yayo can eat a fat dick"
Yayo, as always ruffled some feathers, and Starkey Love said nothing. Then, last month, he ended all speculation.

4. T.I. (or Tip?) has Army Gunz
I am sorry, this was hysterical and sad at the same time. I hope with that arsenal, the thing he knows best is where the gun is kept. He knows all about that. He had 11 Mac-11s, 38 .38s, nine 9s, twin Calicos with pearl handles, and a Howitzer. Congratulations, you squandered all that you worked for in one fell swoop. At least you have Wyclef by your side.

3. Fiasco-gate
This guy might be one of the most frustrating rappers in a long time. He's stubborn to the point that it hurts. You messed up the words to "Electric Relaxtion," oh well, just move along. There's no need to say anything. No, Lupe had to show what a real head he is by essentially saying "fuck Tribe, viva 8Ball & MJG y Spice 1!!!" News flash, a)your music sounds just like Tribe, b) if you don't like ATCQ, don't do a tribute to them. Where's your logic? A quick side note: I got into an argument last night with my brother about this fool and his metaphors, and the cheeseburger song came up. My brother made the point (like many Lupe loves have) that it's really about selling drugs. After thinking about it, I've realized that isn't a very sophisticated metaphor at all, in fact, it's painfully obvious. Clipse et al. have been using the "so many O's, Krispy Kreme" lines for years. Cheeseburgers? That isn't any more clever, and actually a bit worse. If he did another song about robots, intergalactic wars and drugs, on the other hand, I may give him some credit.

2. Dick-in-the-booty Russell Simmons
Sadly, Pimp C died a couple weeks ago. But man, what a summer. First, and great album, then he had the gall to say Atlanta is not the South, Russell Simmons is a "sugar sausage," and Lil' Troy is a bitch. The last one multiple times. The only way to experience this is to read the column and hear the interview on some ATL radio station. Truly amazing. He will be missed.

1. Andre comes back to Earth
What a relief this was. After giving us The Love Below, which proved how selfish a rapper can be when he's in a group and only records three songs with his partner, and Idlewild, where he released his inner Gene Kelly, I was all but sure that I did not need to care about this man anymore. The word "chronometrophobia" only sounds cool when rapped, in most other musical contexts you sounds like a whiny, over-sensitive smarty-pants (like person #3 on this list). Thankfully, I was not alone in feeling betrayed by the man who has helped deliver some of the best rap albums ever, and Dre got the message. Back in the days of "Elevators," when people didn't get the headwrap/no drinks or drugs/no bitches attitude, Chamelio Salamander got angry and just rapped his ass off. Now that no one liked the guy who played a studio gangster in "Be Cool," he was forced to do one of the only two things he knows how to do: rap. Personally, I am glad he didn't go into porn, but that's me. Anyway, after the "Walk it Out (Remix)," 3 Stacks is back and still in top form, from helping Rich Boy throw the moster wheelies on to his pledge to never cause a tsunami in the club. Now, if we could just get another album from Daddy Fatsacks and Benjamin Andre.

There's my list. I know I missed something, so please let me know what else happened this year. I would care about Kanye/50, then I realized that has had no effect on the year, quite honestly. And I also have yet to hear one of those albums at all. Next time, I will finally do my top songs of the year.


Patrick said...

i'm so glad you used the phrase "news flash."

that ghost interview is hilarious.

Jesus Shuttlesworth said...

i really wish i could have used the ending rant from "quit hatin' the south," in retrospect.

You reap what you sew!
Fuck you in ya pussy!
Keep talkin that shit, them young gladiators go come get you too patna!

that man is a genius