Saturday, January 9, 2010



For reasons I don't have time to get into right now, I find pieces like this fascinating for a number of reasons. To begin with, Steve Harvey, thrice married, is giving relationship advice to women. As soon as I finish up traveling tomorrow, I'll try to expand some on how I feel about this issue, because it seems like it has been coming up more and more recently.

5 comments:

Monique R. said...

I was just talking about this with someone-- re: two girls who have a show on Chapel Hill's (or is it Duke's? can't even remember the number) radio station. Basically, this girl was complaining about how this guy wanted to take her to a pizza restaurant for a first date and not red lobster or applebee's. S to the M H.

Monique R. said...

also: p.s. steve harvey- you do have a biological clock-- just like women- the older the gametes the more chance of birth defects/genetic disorders

bding7 said...

this girl was complaining about how this guy wanted to take her to a pizza restaurant for a first date and not red lobster or applebee's

red lobster... win. i remember a few years back a girl asked me out on a date, and we got into a disagreement over who would pay. my logic was (still is?): you ask, you pay, everytime. we were supposed to go to panera, but then she got lazy and just took me out to pizza.

the thing that interests me most about articles/segments like this is that a) i have some similar feelings, but what i value is very different (race is not a dealbreaker for me, for the most part) and b) it's rare that i feel like a young black woman (let's be real, any woman) views me as a legit dating option, so me and others like getting ruled out for not being 6'5" just ends up making the lives of these women apparently miserable.

it's especially intriguing to me since i interacted a lot with these ivy league/selective liberal arts type girls in college, so i'll be interested to see how much of this changes or remains the same as my friends and i start to enter a new stage of life.

Monique R. said...

I totally missed this.

My logic on dating: why does someone have to pay for someone else? also, what the fuck is dating? if you like someone, i kind of feel like you're all in or you're not. anything in between is a disaster waiting to happen.

Recently, this person who uses tumblr did this small "experiment" related to the whole "black female" bit and dating
here: http://blog.kiamatthews.com/post/331277005
Which is a pretty hilarious, great read.

Anyway, I kind of feel annoyed by at all...because yes, the problem isn't race or whatever other thing they want to dump it on-- it's them. (less so with kia) I consider myself to be an attractive female who happens to be hispanic etc etc and when i was dating, I couldn't get that "nice (white?) boy" either. Okay, well once (but usually not ever the ones i really wanted to go out with), and then I realized, wow, we have nothing in common-- okay, next.

I think it's all really about being self-aware, not getting hung up on stupid stuff, and not pussyfooting around (also, try not fucking the dude on the first date- always a good look to start out with). And yes, white girls have the SAME problems (including going too far on the first date)...but the difference is white girls find a guy and he's not very nice to them but for some reason they still stick with them? He never gets the chance to be the evil ex-boyfriend that supplies all the baggage.

I just roomed with a well educated white girl for 3 days in the exact explained situation.

It's all just insanity.

bding7 said...

yea, i saw that post shared on We Are Respectable Negroes.

also, try not fucking the dude on the first date- always a good look to start out with

you know, i do wonder if some of my female friends who say they have issues with men suffer from that exact problem. i can think of at least one person i know who just sort of acts randomly, to poor results.

but the difference is white girls find a guy and he's not very nice to them but for some reason they still stick with them?

maybe, or when they do break up w/ a guy, the pool to choose from isn't incredibly small (meaning educated white men are, compared to respectable Negroes, plentiful)?

you're totally right, it is all insanity, and being self-aware can be helpful. but i've totally met women our age who act much like the women in the video. i have a lot more to say, but i need to gather my thoughts and focus them a bit, so i'll stop.